


memorize all the pain in my eyes

by artemisia_HQ



Series: Kagehina Shorts [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Drabble, Goodbyes, M/M, Short One Shot, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 23:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemisia_HQ/pseuds/artemisia_HQ
Summary: Some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not meant to be together.A short drabble for a requested prompt on tumblr





	memorize all the pain in my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> The fandom is in mourning so I'll give you more reasons to be sad about  
(╥﹏╥)
> 
> ***
> 
> From [this list of prompts](https://artemisia--hq.tumblr.com/post/188011150284/send-me-a-number-and-a-pairing-and-ill-do-a)
> 
> Prompt #25: "We can never be together" kiss requested by @chocochippudding

The cold starts from Tobio’s fingertips and threads through his veins, down to his toes, but aside from that, he feels nothing. His other senses are beginning to dim—his sight blurry, his hearing muddled, Hinata’s words nothing but a garbled sound.

“Wh-what?” he manages to say, but it comes out like a croak and he clears his throat, but his voice still comes out ragged. “What did you say?”

Hinata’s eyes are fixed on the ground, has been this entire time, and they flicker to Tobio just for a fraction of a second before dropping back down.

“I accepted the scholarship at Tohoku University,” Hinata mumbles as he scuffs the ground with his sneakers. The words are still indistinct and muffled or it’s just his brain rejecting to comprehend them, still trying to convince himself that he heard wrong.

Tobio takes two steps closer, planting his feet so firmly on the ground, making sure he stays grounded. “You said you’ll get in with me at Waseda,” he says, the accusation in his tone palpable. “You said you’ll follow me there even without a scholarship. You said—”

“I know what I said!” Hinata bursts out, eyes finally snapping up at Tobio. But it’s not the same bright eyes he’s used to. These are devoid of its usual color, none of the usual fervent passion he’s well familiar with.

He closes the remaining distance between them and grabs Hinata by his shoulders. “Then what is all these bullshit you’re talking about?”

Hinata slaps Tobio’s hand from their hold and he stumbles a bit backward. “It’s not bullshit,” he spats, his face contorting into a scowl, but as quickly as it came, it fades into a small frown. “I couldn’t have gotten in anyway, so why bother trying.”

The surging anger takes control and before he even realizes it, he has the collar of Hinata’s shirt crumpled in his fist. “Why bother?” he shouts at Hinata’s face. “Why _bother_?”

“Kageyama—let me go—!”

“You told me you’ll stand with me!” His grip on Hinata’s shirt tightens as he lifts him up, their faces inches apart. He could see himself reflected in those glassy eyes, face all scrunched up in anger, and notices that Hinata is mirroring his expression. His hands are shaking now, and his voice trembles with it as he whispers, “You promised we’ll be together.”

The fist clutching Hinata’s shirt slackens as he bends forward with a heavy exhale, his gaze lowering to the ground. He suddenly feels exhausted, as if saying those words out loud saps everything out of him.

His palms are still pressed over Hinata’s chest and he’s expecting Hinata to push him back or step away from him. Instead, he feels two warm, calloused hands cup his face, lifting it upwards. And the face that meets his is a face he knows will haunt him for the rest of his life, that will forever be imprinted at the back of his mind, that whenever he thinks of spring and sakura blossoms, he’ll always be reminded of this sight.

“We can’t always get what we want. It’s just not meant to be,” Hinata says, slowly and quietly, as if he’s trying to make Tobio understand. To make them both understand.

A trail of tears traces down Hinata’s flushed cheek but even through that, there’s a softness in his eyes and he smiles. It’s small and gentle and almost reassuring, if not for the unmistakable pain laced on it.

Hinata tastes salty, or maybe it’s a combination of both of them, as he feels something wet trickle down his chin. Hinata’s lips are quivering against his and he hears him chokes back a muffled sob as Tobio’s own lips capture them frantically, hands flying up to hold Hinata’s tear-stained face. 

This isn’t the first time they’ve kissed, but it feels like it—every tiny movement feels new, every keening noise escaping from Hinata’s throat a whole new different sound. It’s fervent, almost desperate, but it only flares the burning sensation in his chest, overwhelming the memory of the kisses they’ve shared before.Only this moment here exists and nothing could ever compare to this staggering, all-consuming feeling.

It would have been perfect if it wasn’t for this painful, bittersweet taste of goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> I love getting feedbacks, and they motivate me tremendously, so drop them in the comments! Kudos are also appreciated :) Thank you for reading! ♥️
> 
> scream about kagehina or hq in general with me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/artemisia_hq?s=09) or [tumblr](https://artemisia--hq.tumblr.com)
> 
> i have more self-indulgent kagehinas in a mixed bag of fluff, smut, and everything in between [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemisia_HQ/works)


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